Charlie Chronicles: Associations,...

Draft 1:

Charlie apologies to Viswanath for his unrestrained and affected behavior in the past few months. Shit happens, but that doesn't give a man the right to start shitting everywhere....

Charlie, puts it in his own style...


Too much thinking is injurious to brain....

Let me get my thoughts straight.

Suddenly, the world seemed gloomy. I tried all I could to see the light, but without luck. I tried crying out loud, said "fuck these fucking fuckers", blamed everyone and the disorder that creeped in due to the luxury provided by the society. Suddenly, my life lost its meaning, everything seemed pointless. India seemed far away and I felt like a loser.

And then advices poured in.

I started "laughing"; laughter as in the word without meaning, laughed with those 32 teeth showing; at the mindless jokes and pitiful paradoxes. I wasted my time in wanton companies and wonderful denials. I started "enjoying" what I thought was enjoyment. Deep down, something prompted me otherwise. I stamped it down with authority; an affected authority acquired thorugh an amused observance of the sanity of a statistical society.

My, My! I let a crack form in this mighty dam of my will, barricading my emotions.

Sensing a weakness, they gushed out in mighty torrents.
Anger; drilling red hot holes.
Jealousy; jutting out and jading...
Love and Lust; languishing my senses..

The mighty will whimpered and withered under the sudden onslaught.

Oh yeah! they poured in ponderous quantities, consuming all that is surrounding them. They flooded my thoughts, drowned my senses and left me, paradoxically,high and dry, Irritable, Irascible, Inane and inimical.

Ignominy, Inabilty and Inevitablity.

Beaten, battered, bruised. Demolished, Devastated, desolate, despondent, dysmal and dreary,

Fruitless, futile, faint and failure.

Nothing to look around, but gloom; encompassing everything and anything. Light is no where to be found.

So, nothing visible, I looked inside; looked into myself.

I saw a skein of sanity; a ray of light.

This made me confused, confounded and conundrous.

"I cried, I tried. I shouted, I ranted.
I begged god to show me the light, no answer...
I asked everyone to light up my gloom: to no effect,
I searched, in vain, for answers(to light up the gloom); in the wrong places."

Bemused, I closed my eyes, looked inside me, again- looked deep down to that individuality I stamped down.

I concentrated; fighting the mighty will of mob. I reached desperately for the lost me. This time I asked the right person, and he answered me, in a muted voice, under bated breath,

"All is not lost, the unconquerable you, the invincible will"

So, this time I looked around, with my eyes closed,
I looked at the mess I made, with my eyes closed,
and laughed.

Laughed Heartily and mightily.
I Laughed at myself, laughed at the stupidity,laughed at the mess I created,
and was happy.

I laughed loud and clear.
It takes so much to realize oneself, and to have done it with such a small mess,

I laughed sonorously, and shouted in a strident stentorian,
full of myself,

"LET THERE BE LIGHT" and
THERE WAS LIGHT

PERIOD

Charlie Chronicles: Equilibrium

I found a wonderful new friend. He is a student in English department. With his permission, I am publishing his work. His name, by the way, is CHARLIE (ref: H & S)

Ah! the wonderful emotions in me,
If only I could let them be,
morphosed into a wonderful tree,
evergreen and eternal it would be,
nothing would affect it, pain or glee,
for in you, I let my feelings be.

Pain, pain, lots of pain,
blissful and basal- superior and sad-simple and plain
the heart weeps a lot in vain,
the brain's dead under the constant strain,
take me in your arms, and let me drain,
for all my ego, you are the restrain.

Happiness, in its truest form.
sweeps over me, sudden and strong, like a tropical storm,
nothing else holds that wonderful charm,
to kiss you, hug you and hold your arm,
oh god! show me a way to keep my calm,
for it makes me forget what I am, cause for alarm!

Happiness and pain, I don't feel a tad,
I found in you what I really had,
buried deep in me; contraceptively clad,
you stripped it out- I am grateful; glad.
Persons might be gone, alas! woeful-sad,
but the ideas remain-for love, sure is rationally mad.


HE DEDICATED IT TO ME-Srikara Viswanath..

Interlude

Draft 1

Times sure have changed....

Lava becomes a basalt,
liquid becomes a solid,
softness disappears and tectonics form.
calm and care portends a storm.


Oh u mighty conceited people,
the land you stand is but based on the fiery fluid,
the gas you breathe is but an excretion from it's belly,
peril is at hand!
proceed at your own risk.

I am the almighty,
I am the omnipotent, the omnipresent and the omniscient.
There is neither charity nor retribution
for I am the unaffected: eternally stolid and dangerously cold.

I shall strip you down,
of your self-righteous stupidities,
your self-assured ideals,
and the self-important ignorance.
Revel in your reveries; while they last,
for the time has come.

I am the almighty,
I am the omnipotent, the omnipresent and the omniscient.
There is neither charity nor retribution
for I am the unaffected: eternally stolid and dangerously cold.

Asia, Europe, America, Africa and the sundry,
Jews, Christians, Muslims and Hindus,
Black, White and Brown,
Superiority, Inferiority, Jealous and Hatred,
Should have known better,
"giving the selfish gene a choice"..

(Actually, there are 180 odd countries, 7 major religions and castes subcastes included, more tham 1000 ways to discrimimate each other)

Lo and behold! I am shaking to the core,
I shall not take it anymore,
take not the quietness for impuissance,
for when I speak,
boundaries break,
Heavens shall descend,
Civilzations shall shatter,
nothing shall matter,
for when I speak,
I shall not show disparity,
for everything is to me,
a medley of elements, acids and bases.

What a day!

Do you sense something? Get the heck away from the laptop and go out, look around. Sniff the air....isn't it heavy with something? Winds of Change.....

I look around and try not to judge people, but I can't help it; People are stupid.

For starters, that's very uncharacteristic of me. But, Sometimes, you need to give back what you get, don't you? - it would be very selfish of you if you don't. Whatever the reason my reason reasons out that people are stupid, yet reasonable.
keep guessing! I am moving on...

What a day!

A day on which I went against my heart, literally and figuratively. Hypocrisy is disharmony between your thoughts and actions. That never touched me...but yesterday, something snapped and I joined the club. More in the lines of pragmatism. maybe.....

I just pray to god that the day wouldn't come when I will cry with my heart and keep smiling. You never know, even the most stolid person can break under continuous attacks.

Coming to continuous attacks, that's what happening to human intellect. It is being continuously attacked. When was the last time anyone reasoned an action and followed it? I am talking about "rote". As the master sleuth put it "Even brain needs exercise". Follow a fad, but make sure that is what you want to do.

Let me bore you for one more para before I write what I wanted to!

The most irritating statement that I hear around me is "I always keep smiling"-"I am never unhappy". I never understood what people meant by that..

For god's sakes, get your head out of your ass!

Nobody can always smile. Noteven he richest, most famous and the most successful. So, spare me your "apparent stupid denials"(for denials refer to Freud's Psychological theory, wikipedia would do). You are not kidding anyone!
If you really know the value of smile, you would definitely know when not to smile! Differentiate between mindles giggling and a real hearty smile,
Differentiation of happy and unhappy is borne from experience.
I quote myself
"It is being continuously attacked. When was the last time anyone reasoned an action and followed it? I am talking about "rote"."
Rote is what has happened.

If you really are wise enough, you don't have to be unhappy to know the value of happiness. "A Wise man learns from other's mistakes"
Spare this a thought!

DUMBO ALERT!
Nobody can always smile doesn't imply crying.

Enough arrogant bullshit!

Jan the 18th, I want to remember the day.

I took the liberty to join (as said above) the hypocritic club. Despite my strong urge not to do it, I had to giveup my job at the UCCCC(University of Cincinnati Childcare Center).

Sometimes some logicless part of me asserts that there is God. He always gave me what I wanted. I was desparate for my mother's love and he gave it to me in the 'nati. The real reason I work there for the same pay as in ECSS is that I identify myself with those kids and relive my childhood. Everytime a child hugs me, everytime they laugh when I tickle them, everytime they "smile" when I throw them up in the air, everytime I glance at those innocent sleeping beauties, I satisfy the hunger in my heart. Heart needs food too, I feed it through love.(there's a reason I don't cook!) Well, I can boast of being in heaven.(Heaven, as god, is an idea, afterall)

The wonder of it is I haven't even applied for the job and somehow I got a call.

Speak of Coincidences!

Something persona has started and ended with that job....(don't take any wild guesses)

Life is like that! Let's see what God planned for me now.

There is this fall of mighty! and the mortification of an immortal!

The mighty australians were brought down to their knees, and I can boast of the team to be my country's.

Indians were beaten badly, bruised and clueless. Instead of being submissive they were sedate. They came back, looked the lion in the eye and tamed it with team effort.

Simply they said "what the fuck?" ,

Coincindence all around.

Finally, it was a day on which the supremacy of the inconquerable was questioned. Suddenly, unlike all the muscular, bulky Tennis players,"King Fed" seemed thin.
Suddenly he looked like just another tennis player.
Suddenly, he looked emotional and vulnerable.
Suddenly, he looked fallible ...
He looked a mortal.

But, lo and behold! that's the beauty of it.
He came out stronger and wise..
He is still the immortal, the unbeatable.

The "King" is here to stay,,

Coincidences! people, Coincidences!

What a day!