Charlie Chronicles: Associations,...

Draft 1:

Charlie apologies to Viswanath for his unrestrained and affected behavior in the past few months. Shit happens, but that doesn't give a man the right to start shitting everywhere....

Charlie, puts it in his own style...


Too much thinking is injurious to brain....

Let me get my thoughts straight.

Suddenly, the world seemed gloomy. I tried all I could to see the light, but without luck. I tried crying out loud, said "fuck these fucking fuckers", blamed everyone and the disorder that creeped in due to the luxury provided by the society. Suddenly, my life lost its meaning, everything seemed pointless. India seemed far away and I felt like a loser.

And then advices poured in.

I started "laughing"; laughter as in the word without meaning, laughed with those 32 teeth showing; at the mindless jokes and pitiful paradoxes. I wasted my time in wanton companies and wonderful denials. I started "enjoying" what I thought was enjoyment. Deep down, something prompted me otherwise. I stamped it down with authority; an affected authority acquired thorugh an amused observance of the sanity of a statistical society.

My, My! I let a crack form in this mighty dam of my will, barricading my emotions.

Sensing a weakness, they gushed out in mighty torrents.
Anger; drilling red hot holes.
Jealousy; jutting out and jading...
Love and Lust; languishing my senses..

The mighty will whimpered and withered under the sudden onslaught.

Oh yeah! they poured in ponderous quantities, consuming all that is surrounding them. They flooded my thoughts, drowned my senses and left me, paradoxically,high and dry, Irritable, Irascible, Inane and inimical.

Ignominy, Inabilty and Inevitablity.

Beaten, battered, bruised. Demolished, Devastated, desolate, despondent, dysmal and dreary,

Fruitless, futile, faint and failure.

Nothing to look around, but gloom; encompassing everything and anything. Light is no where to be found.

So, nothing visible, I looked inside; looked into myself.

I saw a skein of sanity; a ray of light.

This made me confused, confounded and conundrous.

"I cried, I tried. I shouted, I ranted.
I begged god to show me the light, no answer...
I asked everyone to light up my gloom: to no effect,
I searched, in vain, for answers(to light up the gloom); in the wrong places."

Bemused, I closed my eyes, looked inside me, again- looked deep down to that individuality I stamped down.

I concentrated; fighting the mighty will of mob. I reached desperately for the lost me. This time I asked the right person, and he answered me, in a muted voice, under bated breath,

"All is not lost, the unconquerable you, the invincible will"

So, this time I looked around, with my eyes closed,
I looked at the mess I made, with my eyes closed,
and laughed.

Laughed Heartily and mightily.
I Laughed at myself, laughed at the stupidity,laughed at the mess I created,
and was happy.

I laughed loud and clear.
It takes so much to realize oneself, and to have done it with such a small mess,

I laughed sonorously, and shouted in a strident stentorian,
full of myself,

"LET THERE BE LIGHT" and
THERE WAS LIGHT

PERIOD

What a day!

Do you sense something? Get the heck away from the laptop and go out, look around. Sniff the air....isn't it heavy with something? Winds of Change.....

I look around and try not to judge people, but I can't help it; People are stupid.

For starters, that's very uncharacteristic of me. But, Sometimes, you need to give back what you get, don't you? - it would be very selfish of you if you don't. Whatever the reason my reason reasons out that people are stupid, yet reasonable.
keep guessing! I am moving on...

What a day!

A day on which I went against my heart, literally and figuratively. Hypocrisy is disharmony between your thoughts and actions. That never touched me...but yesterday, something snapped and I joined the club. More in the lines of pragmatism. maybe.....

I just pray to god that the day wouldn't come when I will cry with my heart and keep smiling. You never know, even the most stolid person can break under continuous attacks.

Coming to continuous attacks, that's what happening to human intellect. It is being continuously attacked. When was the last time anyone reasoned an action and followed it? I am talking about "rote". As the master sleuth put it "Even brain needs exercise". Follow a fad, but make sure that is what you want to do.

Let me bore you for one more para before I write what I wanted to!

The most irritating statement that I hear around me is "I always keep smiling"-"I am never unhappy". I never understood what people meant by that..

For god's sakes, get your head out of your ass!

Nobody can always smile. Noteven he richest, most famous and the most successful. So, spare me your "apparent stupid denials"(for denials refer to Freud's Psychological theory, wikipedia would do). You are not kidding anyone!
If you really know the value of smile, you would definitely know when not to smile! Differentiate between mindles giggling and a real hearty smile,
Differentiation of happy and unhappy is borne from experience.
I quote myself
"It is being continuously attacked. When was the last time anyone reasoned an action and followed it? I am talking about "rote"."
Rote is what has happened.

If you really are wise enough, you don't have to be unhappy to know the value of happiness. "A Wise man learns from other's mistakes"
Spare this a thought!

DUMBO ALERT!
Nobody can always smile doesn't imply crying.

Enough arrogant bullshit!

Jan the 18th, I want to remember the day.

I took the liberty to join (as said above) the hypocritic club. Despite my strong urge not to do it, I had to giveup my job at the UCCCC(University of Cincinnati Childcare Center).

Sometimes some logicless part of me asserts that there is God. He always gave me what I wanted. I was desparate for my mother's love and he gave it to me in the 'nati. The real reason I work there for the same pay as in ECSS is that I identify myself with those kids and relive my childhood. Everytime a child hugs me, everytime they laugh when I tickle them, everytime they "smile" when I throw them up in the air, everytime I glance at those innocent sleeping beauties, I satisfy the hunger in my heart. Heart needs food too, I feed it through love.(there's a reason I don't cook!) Well, I can boast of being in heaven.(Heaven, as god, is an idea, afterall)

The wonder of it is I haven't even applied for the job and somehow I got a call.

Speak of Coincidences!

Something persona has started and ended with that job....(don't take any wild guesses)

Life is like that! Let's see what God planned for me now.

There is this fall of mighty! and the mortification of an immortal!

The mighty australians were brought down to their knees, and I can boast of the team to be my country's.

Indians were beaten badly, bruised and clueless. Instead of being submissive they were sedate. They came back, looked the lion in the eye and tamed it with team effort.

Simply they said "what the fuck?" ,

Coincindence all around.

Finally, it was a day on which the supremacy of the inconquerable was questioned. Suddenly, unlike all the muscular, bulky Tennis players,"King Fed" seemed thin.
Suddenly he looked like just another tennis player.
Suddenly, he looked emotional and vulnerable.
Suddenly, he looked fallible ...
He looked a mortal.

But, lo and behold! that's the beauty of it.
He came out stronger and wise..
He is still the immortal, the unbeatable.

The "King" is here to stay,,

Coincidences! people, Coincidences!

What a day!

and more music

She was 81 when she sang this.. this is a thyaraaja kruthi....
http://youtube.com/watch?v=og0N-BPeZJc&feature=related

and this song.. SP Balasubramnyam is peerless....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YKmwjQXA4bk

and this recent song....

it is just not a song, it is a magic worked out by SPB.

The last part of the song could never have come from an ordinary man, written by Ramdaas himself, they are the result of a life-time dedication to onething and onething alone....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_w5eIXZH4Vg

Moonlight Sonata....

Sit back, Close your eyes and enjoy the "moonlight" by the legendary
LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oqSulR9Fymg&feature=related

and this symphony....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=O2AEaQJuKDY


Somethings are eternal....

"God as my witness, let justice be served"

I remember a story by Tolstoy in our English non-detail book, "God sees but waits"

A normal, happy guy with a wife and kids is arrested for a murder; a murder not committed by him. His perfect life comes to an end....he pleads in the court and ofcourse, it is the real world and he is sentenced for some 20 odd years in prison.
Murderer, in the eyes of everyone, he takes solace in believing that his wife would atleast believe in him. One day, his wife comes to visit him in prison and asks him where he hid all the money that he stole after the murder. Crushed to the core, the guy gives up all hope and goes on his daily chores in prison, without speaking to anyone. As years pass he becomes famous in the prison as the "silent oldman".

One day a new batch of prisoners come in.

AS is customary, they sit to discuss their crimes and one guy in them starts boasting about his crimes and reveals that he escaped a life-sentence for a murder he had done and the money he stole..

U guessed it.

He is the one who committed the murder for which the "silent old man" was imprisoned for.


It is some 14 odd years and the "silent old man" is released for the crime he hasn't committed..

"God sees the truth but waits"

Moral of the story: I leave it to you readers......

Let me tell me one more story,

A happy, rich guy living a perfect life staunchly believes in god.

Somehow the omnipresent, omnipotent, supreme god, in one of his moods, gets an idea to test his faith.

He takes away his riches. He wife and kids die in an accident. His relatives shun him. He gets a terrible disease and is thrown away from the village....His still believes in God and never loses his faith...

It is a long story, but the "godforsaken" difficultied or should I say "trials of life" are faced with a determined will and never-ending faith....

Finally, he dies and goes to heaven for his faith in God.

I have only one thing to say on the two-stories

"God as my witness, let justice be served"

A Note...

People! I put a heading that life isn't worth reflecting, and all i have been doing in the blog is reflecting. I knew that nobody would notice the apparent contrariness presenting itelf so blatantly.

I know that some of my posts are hazy, and lack the flow. Well, to be frank, I wanted them to be that way. I haven't written them to say something, but to get them out of my head..."stream of consciousness" hahahha, I am not James Joyce...had I put his name , I think I would have had fairer comments..(atleast from those who know James Joyce).


As to the reflecting part, I am not stopping it. I can;t survive without reflections..it is my weakness and my strength. Nevertheless, publicly reflecting on topics(there is a beautiful phrase--Washing one's dirty linen in public, well my linen is not dirty, but it does need some washing) that are esoteric to me lead to that ambiguity. Well. I can promise to stop that.......

A last word: More and more esoteric topics are on their way...

Wise Cracks

http://www.orkut.com/AlbumZoom.aspx?uid=13036331502443163505&pid=5

World is a fucked up place, don't you think?

Whenever you are screwed , it's a screwed up place. When you screw someone..........?

Sometimes I wonder, if having a brain to think is a gift or a glitch.

So difficult to understand people.

Say something directly: they say you are immature.

Say something tactfully:they say you are selfish.

Say nothing: they say you are an introvert en route to being a pervert.

"Maturity is not avoiding mistakes but accepting them"

Whatever happens Life goes on...

My ass it will.

But it is how it goes on that is important.

I can cavil about all the lost opportunities or grab them whenever they present.

Give anything your best shot.

If you fail, you can smile and say "I tried"

But when you give it a shot, make sure you are giving it everything.

So that you don't regret on what might have been.

Had I done that, For god's sake "had you done that you wouldn't be complaining"


Sure life wil go on ,

but I want it to be a life with what I want, a life of wanting to want the wants I want.


Godspeed.

For Job-- Essay or Assay?

I had to write an issue essay for getting a job, CAN U BELIEVE THAT? Hope I get it, I am feeling VERY workless right now...... This is the essay I wrote, (The Topic is the first line)
(This was written 4 months back when I applied for an UCIT job. I have four blogs, so trying to unify them , this was in another blog till now.....again a repost)


Yes, The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves. Infact I would stress that most of the griefs are caused due to our inability to face the consequences of our choices. The griefs I am talking about are, in addition to the everyday burdens we bring upon ourselves, the all-pervasive but latent grieves: the constantly pestering feeling that we can be better than this, that our talents are not being appreciated, that we are but a tiny grain in a world that is the sandy beach. Believe me when I say it, there is nothing more painful than your conscious eating you away.
So, what causes all this? Choices- because, our choices are what we are. In hindsight every choice we haven't made appeals more to us. The real test is to stick to your choice, whatever the consequence. But, to do that you need to really make sure it is YOUR choice, not a choice affected by others or the extant fad. And once you make your choice, never regret it; never look at a more successful actor and think, had I been an actor? because you are not. Realize that you can be successful in what you do too. As the cliché goes “One's own work, though defective, is better than other's, well done". The real happiness is not when you are famous or rich but when you are at peace with yourself.

What I am saying, in effect is this- For a student, for example, procrastination is the most mundane problem, result of which are the late submissions and poor grades. Obviously, this leads to many nightless sleeps and solitary ponderings. Ask yourself who caused it?

So why bring it on yourself when all you need to do is make the right choice? Of course, it’s easier said than done. So, either procrastinate procrastination or take whatever grade results from the sloppy work without remorse. Just remember that “As you sow, so shall you reap”. Directly or indirectly you are responsible for the consequences. So, instead of feeling sad about the results, assure yourself that you are responsible for them. I can promise you can avoid many a personal griefs that way (Grades are only an example; apply this to any realm of your life).

Moving to the latter part of my second paragraph, there’s more to life than a single choice. Like a chain reaction you need to follow up on your initial choice to choose where you end up. Chances are that you could have made a wrong choice, but then the real courage is in admitting that you DID make a wrong choice and start making choices that would best it. Life is a living hell when you start thinking of all the other choices you could have made and all the other places you could have ended up in or all the endeavors you could have pursued. Instead realize that what you are are what you chose to be. That way you will never feel insignificant or feel all those latent griefs I mentioned.

Like in a Fractal, these griefs are encompassed into the smallest of our activities to the whole chain of events that is our life. They are omnipresent; as they are the result of a population that is, may be, acting in the Freudian self-denial. They are the greatest griefs, because they are us, our dreams; haunting and unfulfilled. Time might heal the momentary griefs but these reside deep within you, gnawing you. Take a moment and think(the benches beside UC Tennis courts would be my suggestion)-

Who brought them upon you?

Freaky Friday

Before you read this, if you don't understand what is said here, that's not my problem. I give a lot of thought to what I write. These are things only a few can understand, hope you are one of them...


Rules rule you, unruly though it might sound, it is the rule.You can try to live a life unaffected by rules; but there is a rule- you have to live without rules within the rules. Like the chaos theory suggests there is an "order in randomness" and that is the rule.

You can aspire and dream all you want; but you have to live on the harsh reality that is ground. Sky is your limit yet your feet ought to be on terra firma- that is the limitless limit that limits the lot. People use all kinds of things to motivate you. Yeah, nothing is impossible, Impossible takes a little longer but what they leave out is "the Impossible"- you can't push the impossible -it's impossible.

You might mistake me for a nihilist, No I am not; There is a difference between probably impossible(PI) and impossible. Probably impossible are those you can achieve by will, courage and determination. Impossible is ...just impossible.PI is the impossible people motivate and talk about. Those are the impossibles possible by possibly impossible effort.

Now to some serious shit-

When you are in a friendship, your brain controls your heart. When you are in love, your heart controls the brain. So, how do u control your heart when the very guiding seat is being controlled by the uncontrollable? huh! that is impossible, but probable. That's the PI. If all you know is friendship and think only with your brian, LOVE is impossible. Eliciting love from those who think only with brain: that is "the impossible".

But there is one new and enchanting concept that is in netherworld. As all the emerging new "geek" words, it hasn't been named yet. It's the thingie you do in orkuts and facebooks. If I may go technical, it's the "extended phenotype of desperation". It's the loneliness in you trying to desperately seek consolation in what is virtually real. If you really feel lonely, try hanging out with friends and be with "real" persons.

How true are these words "I am tired of using technology, i need you right infront of me"(these are lines from Timbaland's AYO TECHNOLOGY)

My all time favourite is V fo Vendetta, because it stresses on the importance of ideas.
"It is the idea that is important, not the man"

I wanted to say this for a longtime--India is great because it represents an idea. An idea of helping, loving and caring: people. India is not sweets, cuisines and traditional dresses. It's the ideas and ideals these sweets and cuisines represent that are important.

We meet in a functions, dance, fun, frolic. Click pics in a frenzy, orkut them or picasa them , show them proudly to everyone we know and think we have accomplished something.

I would never suggest not to do the things mentioned. It would be very foolish of me. It is the way you celebrate life. But, what I am pointing out is, after all the fun don't forget what the functions are meant for. Don't leave the function with 2GB of pics and full stomachs, leave the functions with a handful of friends. Remember, for one second, all the things that made it possible for us to enjoy the function. Remember, for a second, all the persons responsible( not the function volunteers but your parents and friends). Spare them a moment, it gives them enormous joy that you remembered them.

If you have 100dollars and give 1 dollar away, that is not charity.
When you have 1 dollar,you want it desperately, and still you give it away- that is charity.

Same goes with people.

Sounds fucked-up, doesn't it?
There were people who did it and it's this importance given to people that's what gave India it's greatness. (and that's what thrown us into oblivion)

India is just a word. We, the Indians, give meaning to it

An average human being is the confluence of all the things that are extant in the society. The way he reacts to a situation, the way he behaves and talks- there is always a limitation to what a person want to do and what a person can do. My point is to rise above the limitations and do what you want to do, no matter what.It takes courage to be truthful to yourself but it takes mulish magnificence to face the consequences.

One might argue that it is "insane" to go after everything you aspire. That is just a perspective. After all it is the choices of a man that define him.I think its worth mentioning the saying "A Man's character is what he does when nobody watches him". It's the reality that changes everyone. I always wondered what hypocrisy might mean, and I hit the bull's eye one day. It's not backstabbing your friends, it's not the unharmful gossip behind the back, it's not the mindless yet harmless rumouring. The biggest hypocrisy of all is "cheating yourself". Society is what it is, people who go with it don't change anything. Change is the driving factor. Afterall, if it isn't for mutations we would not be here.

I would like to quote a wonderful dialouge from The MASK

"We all wear masks, Metaphorically speaking, We supress our darkest desires and adapt a more socially acceptable image"


Pragmatism and Maturity; the great words that is driving the world.

Pragmatism:
It's not what is right that matters but what is considered to be right that matters.

"Maturity is the cover people give to their mistakes".

I never respected these definitions...

People wonder when I walk to UDF at sub-zero temperatures and eat a 3 scoop
Banana-split.

If "Sanity IS Statistical", then I am , for sure, Insane.

"Somebody Stop me"

One more day ,,,,

To get an idea is difficult, to present it picturesquely is practically impossible. Try posting a new topic everyday in a blog.

When I started this blog, I was a different "man".

I had plans of going home, on December 12th.

I always argued against women, and for evolution. How contrary can I be?
I always adored women and solidly believed in God. Afterall, he is the one who brought me this far. The topic is not God. Let me continue....

I almost booked the ticket home, when

u guessed it, God intervened.

My old roomie, Pavan Nagaraj, was cooking(in his home in Florida) . Tired as he was with his tight schedule, he went for the Puligore mix. And he remembered me , for I used to cook it all the time. The timing seemed so perfect that only one person could have ordained it.

We had a long talk. But a few words remain etched in my memory:

"You came here as a kid, whatever happens, WHATEVER, Go back as a Man"

and I intend to do exactly that.

There are few points I have to prove to myself before I leave home. As the Spider-man caption put it beautifully

"The Greatest battle lies within you"

and battles to win, I have.


Being born as the second and last child has its advantages.

I always got the best deal. Always was the Poster-boy and well, always got what I wanted.

My mother and father(my brother) were always worried about the same thing.

When will I grow up?

I can say I grew up and be done with it. But words are ,,, huh! words. If you can't follow them up with actions they remain words, like the "friendship", "Love" and "hate". They are extant as just words nowadays.

It's not the words that are important but the meaning they imply, and we use them without implications.

There is only one test to prove yourself. if somebody can trust you with a job, you have grownup.

Now, let me stress that again. All the words in the above sentence have a meaning only when reflected in actions.

Trust is not an easy thing to get.

Try never to lose it....

On my feet.....

A Person once asked me to explain what love is.

Well there are beautiful phrases and lines in movies, books and other forms of art.

"Love is never having to say you are sorry"--(from lovestory)

I would say Love is having to admit you are sorry: with words-unspoken and feelings- unexpressed. (The one liner above tantamounts to this, ofcourse).


"Nobody tells you if you are in love"--(from Spiderman) You have to know it by yourself.

If you ask me, Love is a choice than has to be made only once, and once alone.

I wish I could quote Ayn Rand but I have been out of touch with myself for sometime.

In essence, she rips apart the essential qualities that are superficial in the modern man. She, rightly so, points out the qualities that are affected by the core that is selfishness. Anyone reading this, read Ayn Rand "Atlas Shrugged". There are many points you like and many you don't. But, you gotta admit-- everyone is selfish

Unfortunately, even love hasn't escaped the dragnet of Selfishness.

To cry for someone, to miss someone and to live for someone- these are the things that we miss today.

We cry for the wrong things. we miss the wrong things and we live for the wrong things.

It is said a Man falls in love three times-- the Second is the one you marry.

I read a remarkable story "The Confessions of Max Tivoli", where Tivoli falls in love with the same woman three times- he is a monster whose body ages in the reverse. If that is what it takes to love a woman so much- I would gladly be a Max Tivoli.

Love stories make you cry, with cruel endings-- this story makes you cry with an ending that is...... (I will not spoil the surprise).

My outlook on life was different till I met a person. I always lived my life, but for a few months I lived her life. A life full of "little nothings". I thought I would return the favor.

Noone can escape death; but you are missing the point, you have to live to die.
Live your life to the fullest to escape death.

When you lie on your death bed, if you can laugh at all the things you have lived for, you escaped death for true. (note)

Wondering why death figured in: the only thing that can end Love is death.

As simple as that.

My Mother always said I believed in the wrong things. Now I realize that I never believed in the wrong things; it's just that the things I believed in never existed. But, I am one tough sonovab''''.

I never give up.


P.S:I would never have written this post but for the gnawing sensation caused by my conscience.

I was never a pragmatist. Might be someday.

If I change, I would laugh at the apparent uselessness of this post,
if I don't, it would stand testimony to a misfit that survived.

Monday, the 26th

Again a 9hour day.

Not much of a day.

End of a festive season..

Returned the car, lots of memories in that one. It was raining heavily and I was drenched to the bone-- took a bus and back to work.

You might be wondering about the continuity of my blog. Thanksgiving special is on its way. Takes a great deal of brain to think and write it and I am not exactly thinking straight.

I can promise the readers onething, good topics coming up, but I am just waiting for the right time to publish them. Too many things keeping me busy...

Tuesday, the 20th

Well. Second day and I am already feeling tired of typing in.

First time, I beat Meghamsh in racquetball---

Lots of first times today---

First time, I found a mistake in me and well! was Man enough to accept it.
What is the mistake? you might wonder-- it is for another day.

First time- I lied deliberately-- Lots of people justify it under the cover of maturity: but then, I always strove to be different.

I sure can say one thing-I had no other option.

First time, I was confident enough to answer my advisor's questions about my thesis.

Coming to first times,

Life is like a thriller book. Every page holds new experiences.

But unlike the pre-ordained ending, you can choose your climax. That's the beauty of life.

For that matter, Choice is what gives Humans the upper hand among all the other species that inhabit the earth.

I always wondered how just an YES or NO could change your lives...

Some might say, all we have is Hobson's choice, but I disagree.

It is just the cover for a cowardly choice. It is easy to chose what is extant; the fads.

Real choices need courage.

Courage to go against the world.

As King says "You can spin with the world or go against it and get thrown off your feet"

Real courage needs strong conscience, and a clear one too.

Catch is ...Courage is a Double-edged sword.

Not everytime it pays-off.

But, real courage is to be courageous when it doesn't pay-off.

Dare to be courageous, and you will be the KING...

Some say I am the king..

AM I?

Thought of the day:
If you cannot change your fate, change your attitude.(personally, I think it's better to change the former than the latter)

Monday, November 19th - A Day to remember

Karl Marx would have looked at me with horrified face--- Communists might have communally crucified me---jeez, even I was startled---I worked for 10 hours today, counting my lab work....

Showed my leg at 7 in the morning, had milk and left to childcare. First time with infants-- cutie piessss- Had a great time, only problem was they were crying a lot and I had to play the mother.

Add to it, I had to sing to them to console them.

I missed deepotsav yesterday but , Ah! compensated in ample for it...

Chicken dance-- with Terra(my co-worker) and 3 year old kids. Bliss, pure un"adult"erated bliss.

Amaiya called me a giant and said that she loves me....

Brandon, Austin(dude they are the poster boys, u can;t resist a kiss) and I built a tower touching the ceiling of the room, so high that even I couldn't reach to put the last block on it..

Drew and explained Rainbow for Olivia :another beauty of a kid.


I love kids and I adore them -- because they says words they mean-- show their genuine emotions-anger,jealousy and stupidity, unlike the overgrown kids around them-- they go under the classification ADULTS.


Cleaned the shop in Ecss. had light dinner and the unconscious took over.

Ever been in paradise--- with your favourite song playing in your year, cozy and in fetal position in an undersized couch, with the centralized conditioner maintaining 80 degrees...

so much for the little nothings and small comforts.........


Thought of the day:

"How stupid you have to be not to know how stupid you are"




Mr.Anderson wanted to see how deep the rabbit hole goes--and Morpheus showed him----

Welcome to the real world,,NEO

Preamble

To the August Assortment of Assholes,

If you know the meaning of blog, skip the next line.
It has no meaning, it is a short form of weBLOG.

I used to have a good habit, that, in the rush of adolescence adrenalin, I lost. I used to keep diaries....

I don't do things without a reason(there are some exceptions).

Diary was me, and it was my heart reflected on pages.

There were too many secrets there, and I publicly admit, you would be flabbergasted if you took a look at my diaries, no kidding. And I can assure you, you will never find one, my mother dumped them with two bags full of chocolate wrappers, diary milk covers, free tattos and other free stuff, somewhere.


Even now I am keeping one, but occasionally. Too many ideas and too much lethargy, so I decided to cut it short and keep one publicly.

If you are reading this, you might wonder what I might post. If you are my friend-sure you will figure-in in someday's post. Not everyone will like my ideas and thought.

I can only say this, I am what I am and NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO.

Reader, read at your own peril..for courage is a double-edged sword.....(ah, I know you haven't understood the last line, so much so for profundity)